I wasn't expecting to recognize any of the names of the victims from Wednesday's mass shooting in Omaha, but there it was: Gary Scharf, 48, Lincoln.
He apparently was doing nothing more than some shopping at Westroads Mall when he was shot and killed.
It's the same Gary Scharf that was a FarmHouse fraternity brother of mine when we both were undergraduates at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in the late 1970s and early 1980s. He was a year ahead of me.
Now I find myself looking back.
Gary and I weren't necessarily friends while we were at the university. In fact, I distinctly remember a rather heated shouting match between the two of us one weekend evening.
After that, we pretty much ran in different circles. I don't think he liked me much, and I admit to feeling the same way.
But a few years ago, I was checking into the Holiday Inn in Kearney for a newspaper-related meeting to be held the next day, when someone tapped me on my shoulder.
I didn't recognize him at first; it had been almost 20 years since we had last seen each other. But as soon as he introduced himself, sure, it was the Gary Scharf I had known. He was there for a different business meeting.
We exchanged a few pleasantries and then he asked if I had a couple of minutes to sit down and talk. Sure, I said.
It was at that point that Gary said he wanted to apologize to me. He told me that he had become a Christian a few years earlier and, as part of that process, began to recognize how he had sinned against others in the past.
One of the things Gary said he still felt guilty about was that particular argument between the two of us years ago. The sincerity in his voice could not be mistaken.
We continued on to have a nice conversation, updating each other on our careers and families. We shook hands and went our separate ways. But Gary's initiation of that conversation brightened my entire day.
He didn't have to bring up any past incidents, but he did. And he didn't have to ask for my forgiveness, but he did. I did the same, thinking all the while that I wished that same conversation could have happened 20 years ago while we were still in college.
That's how I will remember Gary Scharf. I hope others do, too.
Reader Comments
Posted: Friday, December 07, 2007
Article comment by:
Deb Hickman
It takes guts to print this. Thank you for doing it and for giving honor to your friend. I bet this piece inspires others to apologize. Life is short!
