2/8/2008 11:10:00 AM Adoption agency responds 10 couples became pregnant during wait
Pregnancy policy on Web site
On the Nebraska Children's Home Society Web site, a question-and-answer section can be found under the adoption process section of the site.
One of the questions asks, "What do I do if I become pregnant during the adoption process?"
The agency's response, in part, states, "We ask that you inform of us of any changes in your life, including a pregnancy, while you are a client of NCHS. In this circumstance, we would congratulate you and want you to focus on your pregnancy and preparation for your child. Therefore, we would remove you from our group of approved families awaiting adoption but would not close your file. We ask that you continue to keep us informed of your situation so that if anything happens to your child, you have an opportunity to continue your adoption journey and rejoin the approved group of families if you wish."
The issue of the adoption agency's policy when a couple - when seeking to adopt - finds out that they are pregnant is the focus of a current legal battle involving the Nebraska Children's Home Society and Jason and Angela Vesely of Verdigre.
In that question-and-answer session on the Nebraska Children's Home Society, there are many other topics related to the Vesely and other adoption cases that are addressed.
The Veselys, who are attempting to adopt a baby through the agency and have been caring for a baby as part of the process, said they were never told of that policy. They also have stated that it was not part of any contracts that they signed.
On Monday, Feb. 11, the Knox County District Court is scheduled to consider a habeas corpus motion filed by the Nebraska Children's Home Society.
With the habeas corpus motion, the court will be asked to rule whether the Veselys are justified in continuing to care for the infant placed with them through the adoption agency.
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Want to learn more?
More information about the Nebraska Children's Home Society can be found at www.nchs.org/.
Special to the Daily News
Editor's note: In response to a request from the Daily News, representatives of the Nebraska Children's Home Society provided the following information about the adoption agency's history and policies in light of the current court case involving a baby placed for adoption by a Verdigre couple.
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Out of respect for the legal process and client confidentiality, Nebraska Children's Home Society is unable to discuss the details of the adoption case involving a Verdigre couple now in the Knox County District Court.
Agency representatives did acknowledge their concerns for everyone involved and described the situation as rare.
The Nebraska Children's Home Society, the state's largest provider of adoption services, has handled more adoptions than any other agency in the state. Since 1995, the result has been more than 1,000 adoptions.
Prior to 1980, most adoptions were closed, leaving adoptive children with questions and limited means to find the answers.
In Nebraska, what is commonly known as "open adoption" has become the norm.
That means that both birth parents and adoptive parents share personal information, medical histories and develop a lifelong relationship based on trust and openness.
Birth parents come to see choosing adoption as a loving decision with the best interests of their child at heart. Nicole from Columbus made the decision to place her baby boy for adoption just four months ago.
"I read their letter, saw their picture and knew right away I wanted to meet them. They are amazing, loving people," Nicole said of the adoptive parents. (Her last name is not being used to preserve confidentiality.)
While they met two months before Nicole gave birth, some birth parents wait until after the birth before deciding to place their child for adoption.
Typically a birth parent(s) will have two or three things that may be very important to them in choosing an adoptive family. Religious faith, community background and composition of the family often play a role in their decision.
Marcia Blum, a former caseworker and adoption program manager, has more than 20 years experience in adoption counseling. She says the selection process gives them the opportunity to express love for their child by choosing a home that best reflects their ideals.
"Choosing adoption becomes much easier for the birth parent, once they are able to carefully make this choice for their child," Blum said.
Before potential adoptive parents ever meet a birth parent, they receive support and education from the Nebraska Children's Home Society to make sure that the decision to adopt is right for them.
What the agency often tells parents is that adoption may be their second choice, but it's hardly second best.
Rashelle and Timothy Oltjenbruns from Plainview, for example, recall the day their 20-year wait for a baby ended.
It was a little over a year ago when they received a phone call from their caseworker that birth parents from the Kearney area had chosen their home for their 2-month-old baby boy.
She remembers a shared sense of relief and happiness.
"We came together as complete strangers and shared our most private experiences. We are as grateful and appreciative today as we were back then. Instead of worrying about the questions Landon will ask some day, we look forward to telling him about the brave, wonderful choice his birth parents made out of love for him," Mrs. Oltjenbruns said.
When it comes to the adoption process and requirements, most adoption agencies in Nebraska share a best practices philosophy. A couple choosing adoption will work with only one adoption agency.
The Nebraska Children's Home Society process requires a commitment, which includes a detailed home study, background screening and two-day educational seminar focused on open adoption.
Many of these couples have endured painful experiences due to infertility or miscarriages, but they must still face one more. Even with the valid home study required for placement, the process comes with no guarantee that they will be selected.
In fact, there are far more parents waiting to adopt than there are babies in need of adoption.
It's not unusual for couples to become pregnant while waiting to adopt a baby. Ten couples notified the Nebraska Children's Home Society last year of their good fortune. Through the children home's educational sessions, they understood that a pregnancy would make them temporarily ineligible to adopt and that they would be welcome to rejoin the process if their pregnancy was unsuccessful or when their baby reaches 18 months of age.
The average cost of an adoption is about $20,000. Because Nebraska Children's Home Society sees the child as its primary client, it provides services to parents free of charge.
Throughout its history, the agency has relied solely upon support from corporations and generous donors who are committed to the well-being of children.
Reader Comments
Posted: Sunday, November 30, 2008
Article comment by:
Sissy
Shame on the Veseleys for misreprensenting their intentions for the family when Ms. Morgan was making the biggest decision of her life and her son's life. That child deserves to be with the woman who carried him.
Posted: Thursday, February 14, 2008
Article comment by:
ANDREA
I just want to say that this is what is wrong with the concept of "open adoptions" who does this birth mother think she is? The Veselys were good enough when she decided to place Morgan with them in the first place and now she thinks that she can control how many children they have and how? That just makes me sick to my stomache! I have always been a big supporter of the Nebraska Childrens Home Society (they helped me adopt my son 14 years ago) but Today I say SHAME ON THEM!! And SHAME ON THE BIRTHMOTHER & ANYONE ELSE who is trying to take little Morgan away from his Mommy & Daddy (THAT IS THE VESELYS!) I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT MY PRAYERS ARE WITH THE WHOLE VESELY FAMILY.
Posted: Thursday, February 14, 2008
Article comment by:
Kathy London
Our courts have no business interfering in this adoption. To me the only reason for any court action would be if the baby's life/health is in danger. The birth mother made a decision and that should be the end. Are we using human life as a pawn? I can only imagine what the adoptive parents must be going through at this time. My prayers and with them.
Posted: Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Article comment by:
Smiles
I am surprised and saddened by the comments I see here. My heart goes out to the Vesley’s but has it occurred to anyone that this birthmom is feeling some pain? That she too has bonded with this child and that bond did not break when she placed her child? When you place a child you are doing it for many personal reasons. What ever her reasons were she chose a family that she felt would raise her son the way she wanted him raised. That is her right. That is her choice. It does not matter if you or I would have different criteria.
The Vesley’s chose to ignore the infertility treatment rule (which has always been on the web site) and neglected to inform the NCH about any “life changing events”. A mistake? Maybe - but that mistake has consequences and that’s what they are facing today. That mistake cost this birthmother her right to place her child in a home of her choosing. I do not believe the agency neglected to inform the Vesley’s of the infertility treatment rule and most certainly not the “life changing event” rule. I applaud NCH for standing behind the birthmom. It would have been easier to brush her aside.
Yes, I am a birthmom, yes, I have always loved my child, and it was the hardest decision I have EVER made (and it was over 25 years ago). Being pregnant is a HUGE piece of information to hide from any birthmom and by doing so they negated her choice in where she wanted her son to be raised. Adoption is about trust and they violated that trust.
Posted: Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Article comment by:
Carrie Mastalir
I just want to say as this very precious baby boy's aunt we have all bonded with Morgan. We all love him so dearly. DNA truly does not matter when it comes to loving a child. Morgan is my kids very first cousin and they enjoy spending time with him, we all do. This whole experience has been awful for our whole family. We have suffered so much loss already and to go every day not knowing why this adoption agency has chosen to try and our little Morgan away makes absolutely no sense at all. It is my feelings that if a birth mother had these stipulations for a family she chose to raise her son, she would have asked these questions when they sat down together. Angela and Jason asked her and her parents if they had any question for them. No questions pertaining future children was asked. According to the statements made in the Yankton Press and Dakotan paper on Monday 2-10-08 the birth mother did not want Angela and Jason to have any biological children. Only Morgan or other adopted children. To me that makes no sense. The birth mother is old enough to know what she was doing and had her parents support through all of the decision making progress. I do applaude her making the brave choice she did of giving Morgan a better life, especially by choosing Angela and Jason to be his parents. She read their file and to ask them to hand over a child that they have bonded with knowing the loses they have gone through already makes me very disgusted. She made the right choice from the very beginning by give our family Morgan. I really hope that God gives the birth mother, her family, and NCHS peace in knowing that Morgan is already home with his parents. I pray that this will all end soon so that Angela and Jason can focus on their family without having to worry if that is the last day they get to spend with their son. They have done nothing wrong here, but try to have a family. That is what they finally are, PLEASE just let them be one.
