Those were about the only words Jason Vesely could manage Friday morning in trying to describe how he and his wife, Angela, are dealing with the reality that they soon will lose another child.
The Verdigre couple previously lost three children at birth. Late Thursday afternoon, they learned that they will soon lose the son, Morgan who had been placed with them for adoption.
The Nebraska Children's Home Society prevailed in a court case in Knox County District Court here over custody of the infant boy.
Judge Patrick Rogers ruled that Morgan must be returned to the adoption agency and the boy's biological family instead of staying with the Veselys, who had cared for him since a few days after his birth last October.
"I can't imagine how it's going to feel to give him back," Angela's father, Marc Mastalir of Verdigre, said Friday morning. "I think it will have to feel as bad as burying a child."
The six-page ruling was handed down about 5:30 p.m. Thursday after a three-day hearing. Friday morning, officials with the adoption agency were meeting to decide on how to arrange for the return of the baby boy, a spokeswoman said.
In his ruling, Rogers said he had to consider two major factors - the best interests of the baby and legal issues surrounding his adoption and custody.
The focus of much of the hearing was that Mrs. Vesely had become pregnant during the adoption process, but that information wasn't shared prior to the adoption with the adoption agency or the baby's biological mother.
Rogers said he found the request for a revocation of the adoption "not arbitrary and capricious" because the Veselys were not honest with the adoption agency and that a "trusting relationship" with the birth mother had been violated, making her no longer supportive of the adoption.
The issue of the best interests of the child prompted extensive consideration by the judge.
"It would be easy for this court to simply consider the current situation that Morgan finds himself in and nothing else. That situation conjures great emotions of sympathy and support for the respondents (Veselys)," Rogers wrote. "They have provided all of the necessary care, support and love for this child in their home which is appropriate for that purpose. . . . The court further finds that the respondents truly love Morgan and have every intention to provide for all of his needs in the future."
But Rogers said it was appropriate to note that the Veselys' pregnancy was not by chance but by in vitro fertilization.
"When the respondents were called in late October to meet with the birth mother in North Platte to pick up Morgan, they knew that Angela was pregnant and had been so since July," the judge wrote. "They should have, at the very least, understood that the fact that Angela was pregnant was a fundamental change in their circumstances."
The Veselys have said that they didn't offer the information because of the loss of three previous biological children, knowing that the new pregnancy could be high-risk.
"This court does not doubt the respondents' hesitancy, and can understand that hesitancy to reveal this pregnancy . . . but the failure to do so was a violation of at least the spirit that all of the parties brought to the table regarding this adoption," Rogers wrote. "That failure does not advance the best interests of Morgan if he were to remain with the respondents."
The lack of candor on the part of the Veselys also negatively affected the chances of a positive open adoption, the ruling said. The biological mother had requested that her baby be given to a family that did not have any biological children.
The adoption agency, Rogers said, "pursued its attempt to match an appropriate family with the birth mother's requests and did so based on the information provided to them by the respondents. The respondents failed to update their information, thus making this match outside the wishes of the birth mother and, at the outset, destroying the concept of open adoption that all the parties originally embraced."
Mrs. Vesely did give birth to a son, Gage, late last year and he remains hospitalized in Sioux Falls. He weighed just more than 2 pounds when he was born Dec. 30 at about 26 weeks into the pregnancy. The Veselys have said they believe the stress of the adoption custody fight contributed to Mrs. Vesely going into labor early.
Mastalir said he was having difficulty dealing with the court ruling in light of some of the testimony offered in the hearing this week.
"Even the attorney for Morgan argued that it was in the child's best interests to stay with Angela and Jason," Mastalir said.
Mastalir said he believes the Nebraska Children's Home Society is a good adoption agency that has done considerable good work over the years.
"But in this case, I just think they didn't handle things correctly and now my kids are feeling the consequences of that," he said.
Reader Comments
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2008
Article comment by:
Jamie
This message is for Kay who thought the Veselys were using Morgan as a "backup baby", I guess you do not have children and have never lost a child or been around someone who has. If you had you, would know that every child is precious and every day with a child is a gift. I don't think that the Veselys thought of Morgan as a back up baby or they would not be fighting for him!! I think that is a testament of how great of parents Jason and Angela are!!! I also know, as a mom, that I didn't tell people right away that I was pregnant, with either of my children. This is not lying, but being careful,as things can happen in any pregnancy!! Especially where Angela had lost three babies before!! I only hope that you never have to feel the pain of losing a child!
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2008
Article comment by:
Carol Martin
I live in Arkansas and have been following this story. What a dirty shame. SHAME on the so called "Judge" for this horrendous situation.
Who paid off the Children's home and the Judge? Where was CASA?? Who can call this JUSTICE in the United States. Hope this story gets put on 20/20 or 60 Minutes. This is really black mark on the State of Nebraska. I feel for the adoptive parents. Signed/ Thoroughly Disgusted
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2008
Article comment by:
Beth
I think the ruling is wrong. Was there ever proof that that the adopted parents were bad? They wanted the baby from day 1. Yes, they hid some important information but they didn't know if the unborn baby was going to live or die. Their risks were high and now they have one baby taken away and the other baby fighting for his life. What happens if their bio baby dies? Who is to blame for that? What happens if "Morgan" get injured or abused by going back to the family that didn't want him from the beginning? Who is to blame? I don't think the best interest of Morgan was thought of at all. He was with loving parents and now all of that has been taken from Morgan just as well as the Vesely's. I hope the Vesely's win their appeal and bring Morgan back home. That was nice of the Vesely's naming him Morgan but I would reconsider his name now too.
Posted: Monday, February 18, 2008
Article comment by:
Kay
I'm apalled at the ignorance of people "shaming" NCHS and Morgan's birthmother. It's obvious that these people have little, if any, knowledge of the adoption process. If they truly did, they would be "shaming" the Vesleys for their lie by ommission about Angela's pregnacy. In essence, the Vesleys used little Morgan as a "backup" baby in case their biological child did not live. That is just plain wrong!
Morgan was placed with a family that misrepresented their status to both NCHS and the birthmother....something that is completely unacceptable in an adoption. Put the shame where it belongs....the Vesleys!
Posted: Sunday, February 17, 2008
Article comment by:
Andrea
I am very, very disappointed with the Judge’s ruling in this case. I can’t believe he would rule against the Vesley family. I understand why people would not want to sign up to adopt children due to rulings such as this. What an unfair standard for the biological mother to say that Angela and Jason wouldn’t be appropriate parents after they passed the rigorous requirements to become an adoptive family. I hope that people will continue to write letters of disappointment for Judge Roger’s ruling. I just want to express my support toward Jason and Angela Vesley and their families. It is no surprise that people continue to adopt children overseas, and I hope that anyone who chooses to adopt from the Nebraska Children’s Home is very precautious with their decision.
